Tuesday 11-15.

I am starting to accept my limitations, When I woke up I thought it was a get dressed day then I learned it was not. When I took Maya out I had the sensations of hammers hitting the back of my feet at each step. I made it about halfway of the block then turned around. I did load the dishwasher though, my back is sure of it, my lower back has a large lump in it I am concerned I have bulging disks there. Would not surprise me nothing does anymore. Tj will be home soon and I haven't even made dinner yet. I better see what I can do.. I love you all and am grateful for my family and my wonderful friends. God bless and comfort all of you who need it.

11-11-11 eh still just Friday.

So another week past and Friday is here, today feels like a dress to walk the dog day. Today is ok thought I have all my kids cuddling somewhere or another. I can feel the storm moving towards us it sucks to be a walking barometer. This week has been hard I have to figure out how to sleep at night. I may have to move into the guest room for a minute I just am not sure why I am not sleeping anymore. I am not sure if we are doing anything this weekend I may make some more bread. I am just glad to have a loving husband to spend the weekend with no matter what we do.

My New Life!

So I have come to the realization that I am not going to get my life back, thus I have started to accept my new life. This life is not as involved or fast-paced but it is My life. This life seems to be slower and not as involved but I think that I understand what I need to do. I need to slow down and plan my days out. The pain is well the pain, I need to figure out how to tune it out while I sleep.
I have only had like three nights of full sleep in the past few months. This is where is gets tricky, if I sleep well I can get a full day in. On the days I don't sleep I'm lucky if I can get dressed I mean really dressed not just take the dog for a walk dressed. Today I have to turn off all the lights and turn the screen down I have a migraine that is splitting me in half. Today is a dress to walk the dog day for sure.

Where did the year go???

Wow! November already, what happened to 2011? Kinda glad though thinking it might be cool if the world ends on 12-31-11.
Really though it has started to get really cold and I prefer winter, it is easier to get warm than it is to get cooled off. The kids get along better too they have to snuggle. I miss the life I used to live and mourn it daily. I am working on looking at what I can do rather than what I can't do. I can walk the dog at least once a day about 15-30 minutes depends on how cold it is. I can make dinners on my good days split them and have one for another day. I can do whatever I can do then I can rest and try again.
On another Awesome note I fell last night and I feel it everywhere. Not sure what happened but I woke up to Tj freaking out. My hand swelled up pretty big then my elbow popped and the swelling went down. It is not bothering me that much but it is hard to tell what pain is from what. I feel like an operation game sometimes, random buzzing and pain.
Tj is such a blessing in my life I don't know how I knew it but I have always know from the moment I laid eyes on him he was the one. I know why now; We had to build a friendship so deep and old so that he would be able to help me through this tribulation. I always count my blessings and am ever so grateful for every one I have. I am grateful to have all the Wonderful Friends and Family that I have been blessed with. Thank you all for your love and support sometimes I forget just how big my support group really is.