I am starting to accept my limitations, When I woke up I thought it was a get dressed day then I learned it was not. When I took Maya out I had the sensations of hammers hitting the back of my feet at each step. I made it about halfway of the block then turned around. I did load the dishwasher though, my back is sure of it, my lower back has a large lump in it I am concerned I have bulging disks there. Would not surprise me nothing does anymore. Tj will be home soon and I haven't even made dinner yet. I better see what I can do.. I love you all and am grateful for my family and my wonderful friends. God bless and comfort all of you who need it.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
11-11-11 eh still just Friday.
So another week past and Friday is here, today feels like a dress to walk the dog day. Today is ok thought I have all my kids cuddling somewhere or another. I can feel the storm moving towards us it sucks to be a walking barometer. This week has been hard I have to figure out how to sleep at night. I may have to move into the guest room for a minute I just am not sure why I am not sleeping anymore. I am not sure if we are doing anything this weekend I may make some more bread. I am just glad to have a loving husband to spend the weekend with no matter what we do.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
My New Life!
So I have come to the realization that I am not going to get my life back, thus I have started to accept my new life. This life is not as involved or fast-paced but it is My life. This life seems to be slower and not as involved but I think that I understand what I need to do. I need to slow down and plan my days out. The pain is well the pain, I need to figure out how to tune it out while I sleep.
I have only had like three nights of full sleep in the past few months. This is where is gets tricky, if I sleep well I can get a full day in. On the days I don't sleep I'm lucky if I can get dressed I mean really dressed not just take the dog for a walk dressed. Today I have to turn off all the lights and turn the screen down I have a migraine that is splitting me in half. Today is a dress to walk the dog day for sure.
I have only had like three nights of full sleep in the past few months. This is where is gets tricky, if I sleep well I can get a full day in. On the days I don't sleep I'm lucky if I can get dressed I mean really dressed not just take the dog for a walk dressed. Today I have to turn off all the lights and turn the screen down I have a migraine that is splitting me in half. Today is a dress to walk the dog day for sure.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Where did the year go???
Wow! November already, what happened to 2011? Kinda glad though thinking it might be cool if the world ends on 12-31-11.
Really though it has started to get really cold and I prefer winter, it is easier to get warm than it is to get cooled off. The kids get along better too they have to snuggle. I miss the life I used to live and mourn it daily. I am working on looking at what I can do rather than what I can't do. I can walk the dog at least once a day about 15-30 minutes depends on how cold it is. I can make dinners on my good days split them and have one for another day. I can do whatever I can do then I can rest and try again.
On another Awesome note I fell last night and I feel it everywhere. Not sure what happened but I woke up to Tj freaking out. My hand swelled up pretty big then my elbow popped and the swelling went down. It is not bothering me that much but it is hard to tell what pain is from what. I feel like an operation game sometimes, random buzzing and pain.
Tj is such a blessing in my life I don't know how I knew it but I have always know from the moment I laid eyes on him he was the one. I know why now; We had to build a friendship so deep and old so that he would be able to help me through this tribulation. I always count my blessings and am ever so grateful for every one I have. I am grateful to have all the Wonderful Friends and Family that I have been blessed with. Thank you all for your love and support sometimes I forget just how big my support group really is.
Really though it has started to get really cold and I prefer winter, it is easier to get warm than it is to get cooled off. The kids get along better too they have to snuggle. I miss the life I used to live and mourn it daily. I am working on looking at what I can do rather than what I can't do. I can walk the dog at least once a day about 15-30 minutes depends on how cold it is. I can make dinners on my good days split them and have one for another day. I can do whatever I can do then I can rest and try again.
On another Awesome note I fell last night and I feel it everywhere. Not sure what happened but I woke up to Tj freaking out. My hand swelled up pretty big then my elbow popped and the swelling went down. It is not bothering me that much but it is hard to tell what pain is from what. I feel like an operation game sometimes, random buzzing and pain.
Tj is such a blessing in my life I don't know how I knew it but I have always know from the moment I laid eyes on him he was the one. I know why now; We had to build a friendship so deep and old so that he would be able to help me through this tribulation. I always count my blessings and am ever so grateful for every one I have. I am grateful to have all the Wonderful Friends and Family that I have been blessed with. Thank you all for your love and support sometimes I forget just how big my support group really is.
Monday, September 26, 2011
What a weekend.
Well I have had a whirlwind of a weekend.
Saturday I had lunch with my Sister Hannah and her mom Joan and her sister Mona.
The children are so grown up and lovely to be around and talk to. It seems just yesterday we were changing diapers and making bottles. Life has gone by so fast and I have been graced to be a part of such a large family and a larger extended family. After lunch I went to Cabellas for feathers (Cabella's is like Disneyland with guns and fishing poles). I wish I could have gone there with Grandpa and Dale. After I got home Tj let me sleep for a few hours so we could make it to the wedding reception. I was grateful to see many old friends and friendships rekindled. Yesterday we took Maya to Liberty park she was at a loss there was so much going on she wanted to see everything all at once. It was so cute. today as you might imagine I feel like I have been run over by a whole fleet of greyhound buses. But after it all I ask myself was it worth it? I answer proudly YES it was. I had a chance and grabbed on to a piece of life. I loved every minute of it and am grateful for the time to share with those I care for.
Saturday I had lunch with my Sister Hannah and her mom Joan and her sister Mona.
The children are so grown up and lovely to be around and talk to. It seems just yesterday we were changing diapers and making bottles. Life has gone by so fast and I have been graced to be a part of such a large family and a larger extended family. After lunch I went to Cabellas for feathers (Cabella's is like Disneyland with guns and fishing poles). I wish I could have gone there with Grandpa and Dale. After I got home Tj let me sleep for a few hours so we could make it to the wedding reception. I was grateful to see many old friends and friendships rekindled. Yesterday we took Maya to Liberty park she was at a loss there was so much going on she wanted to see everything all at once. It was so cute. today as you might imagine I feel like I have been run over by a whole fleet of greyhound buses. But after it all I ask myself was it worth it? I answer proudly YES it was. I had a chance and grabbed on to a piece of life. I loved every minute of it and am grateful for the time to share with those I care for.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
......
AARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! My legs are not working very well. I am sitting here my calves are freezing being shocked and my toes are not responding. I hate this junk. I wish someone somewhere can find something that will really help with my issues. One day my hands don't work the next my feet. I am so sick of this I have a Dr. appointment today hopefully I will feel better by then. when I try to move my toes I feel electric shocks and maybe a twitch out of one or two toes but it feels like I have curled them all the way in. I WANT MY LIFE BACK. I have the hardest time finding self worth lately but I am trying. Tj ius also going to the Dr. he is having a hard time with stress but who wouldn't in his position. I just try to be supportive and hide as much of my pain as I can to lessen his load so to speak.
Maya is having some hard times she is having nightmares Tj thinks she has man issues, I think she is not being woken up properly. We will get this under control I know that if we just learn her quirks and let her get used to ours we will be fine. The cats are being so much more tolerant of her I think in the next few weeks we will see her blossom into a loved pup rather than a stray in another foster home.
Well enough Boo Hoo for today.
loves. XOXOXOX
Maya is having some hard times she is having nightmares Tj thinks she has man issues, I think she is not being woken up properly. We will get this under control I know that if we just learn her quirks and let her get used to ours we will be fine. The cats are being so much more tolerant of her I think in the next few weeks we will see her blossom into a loved pup rather than a stray in another foster home.
Well enough Boo Hoo for today.
loves. XOXOXOX
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
What has been going on.
Well I know I have not been a very good blogger but with the weather last week I did not spend much time typing. Things seem, to be looking up, I found a lawyer to take my disability case so I feel as though I found a paddle to navigate shit creek LOL.
I was able to spend time with my grandma when she needed me. My great uncle frank passed on Sunday. I never got to spend a lot of time with him but the time spent was valuable. He was a great man with so many stories to tell. He will be missed greatly by so many people, friends and family alike.
My husband is really starting to show signs of stress and I am so worried about him. I am going to take us to the Dr. to see what we can do.
We adopted a new dog or not depends on how you look at it. Maya is a Chihuahua from LA to Utah on an overflow trip. She had been a stray from what we know so she needs a fur-ever home and we can give her one. The cats are still kinda skiddish but they have accepted that they are all in it for the long haul.
Tj is in Idaho today but he is on his way home so he will be here by bedtime.
Sorry I'm a slacker but I love you all. <3'
I was able to spend time with my grandma when she needed me. My great uncle frank passed on Sunday. I never got to spend a lot of time with him but the time spent was valuable. He was a great man with so many stories to tell. He will be missed greatly by so many people, friends and family alike.
My husband is really starting to show signs of stress and I am so worried about him. I am going to take us to the Dr. to see what we can do.
We adopted a new dog or not depends on how you look at it. Maya is a Chihuahua from LA to Utah on an overflow trip. She had been a stray from what we know so she needs a fur-ever home and we can give her one. The cats are still kinda skiddish but they have accepted that they are all in it for the long haul.
Tj is in Idaho today but he is on his way home so he will be here by bedtime.
Sorry I'm a slacker but I love you all. <3'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)